blessed mommy and wife

A, B, C'S OF ME

2008-06-22T08:21:00.002-05:00

Saw this on another blog and thought it was cute.

A)Age- thirtyfour
B)Burger of choice- Tyrel burger (created by my daddy)
C)What kind of car you drive- E-350 12 pax
D)Dogs name- none
E)Essential item you use everyday- my frying pan
F)Favorite TV show- Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives on Food Network
G)Favorite game to play- Uno
H)Hometown-_____________, LA
I)Instruments you play- None
J)Favorite Juice- Apple
K)Whose butt you would love to kick- no comment
L)Last restaurant you ate at- Piccadilly
M)Favorite Muppet- Miss Piggy
N)Number of piercings- One in each ear
O)Overnight hospital stays- Many
P)People you were with today- my children
Q)What you do in your quiet time- read like a madwoman
R)Biggest regret- too many
S)Status- Married
T)Time you woke up- no comment. Very long night
U)What you consider unique- people who are extremely organized
V)Vegetables you love- any and all except artichokes
W)Worst habit-getting sidetracked
X)X-rays you have had- who remembers that kind of thing?
Y)Yummy food you ate today- nothing yet.
Z)Zodiac sign- scorpio but don't agree with any of that.

Aliens???? Big Bang????

2008-05-14T09:32:00.002-05:00

This was the latest news story regarding the Vatican and Pope Benedict

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080513/ap_on_re_eu/vatican_aliens

My thoughts are how in the world can you agree with the Big Bang theory when the Bible clearly states that God created all. Genesis 1:1-4 was the very first Bible verse my daddy taught me. It states God created EVERYTHING. My other question was why would someone who follows God and His Word have anything to do with an astronomer. Now don't get me wrong. I think it is perfectly fine to study the stars but anytime it interferes with your faith you need to take a good, hard look at it. This just really caught me. Could God have created other humans somewhere else? Yes. I totally believe God has no boundaries but I would tend to think He would of said so. However, even if He didn't I still can't see where you would get that the Big Bang happened when He clearly states "In the beginning, God CREATED the heavens and the Earth."

Mother/Daughter Brunch

2008-04-29T14:41:00.002-05:00

The two older girls and I went to a mother/daughter brunch at church this past Saturday. It was awesome. They had a wonderful speaker after the brunch and was just exactly what I needed. The title of the brunch was "Feather Your Nest". It was focusing on our duties as wives and mothers. I took notes and here is a synopsis. Oh! The Bible verse they gave is also one of my favorites. Proverbs 14:1 Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

1. Welcoming the presence of God. (Ps. 16:11) She said many times we find that we have Jesus in our hearts but we need to question is He in our homes as well.

2. Living by the promises of God (Prov 3:33, Josh 1:8, 1Kings 8:56) Remembering that He is always there to guide you.

3. Lifting up praises and prayers to God. (Ps 121:1-2, 1Peter 5:7, Ps 34:4) Many times we come to God in prayer but do we always praise Him. Also, do we praise Him when things aren't going the way "we" want.

4. Investing in priceless treasures. (Gal 5:22, Eph 4:32) She asked us what our treasures were and then reminded us that we can not take our Earthly treasures with us but we can leave a Godly heritage and legacy. Our treasures should be the children the Lord has blessed us with. Training them to pass on a Godly heritage and legacy to their children.

5. Speaking pleasant words. (Ps 19:14, Eph. 4:29) We are to remember to try and speak no discouraging words. Words can not be taken back.

6. Cultivating positive attitudes. (Eph 5:20, 1 Tim. 6:6-8) Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS. Attitude of contentment. When we are content where the Lord has placed us, we have gratitude to Him.

7. Establishing proper priorities. (Ps. 90:12, Titus 2:3-5) You have only one chance in your life with your children. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is never promised.

8. Creating family memories. (Eph 4:1-3, Phil. 1:27) Ask yourself, what will your children say when they leave your nest? Memories don't have to cost anything, they just have to be made.

9. Making home a pleasant place. (1 Tim 5:14) Your family is a testimony. The olders should train the younger ones. Spend time around Godly people you can learn from and be teachable. Remember your first priority is to God and then home. Many times we as women are not trained on how to love our husbands. Sad but true. We need to surround ourselves by people who we can learn from and teach our children the same.

10. Providing a place of peace and protection. (Jer 31:28, Prov 31:27) This illustration was so neat. She said we as humans will spend hundred's of dollars on dogs and making sure we build a strong fence around it and do all we can to protect it but we do nothing for our family. We are to build fences around our children and protect them from the evil that lurks in the world. Also she made a point of saying this too. She said, "ladies, Satan attacks our husbands by what they see but he attacks our hearts." Just as we are to put fences of protection around our home and children we are to put it around our hearts. Satan is out to destroy our homes and families.

This was such a wonderful time and the girls seemed to enjoy it too. I've been wondering if there wasn't more I could be doing to spread the gospel of Christ and feeling like I was "only a wife and mom." God brought this opportunity to me to go and was just the thing I needed to hear. It truly is an important job and one I am blessed to have.

7:00 pm today 11 years ago...

2008-04-18T11:48:00.001-05:00

I was being walked down the isle by my pawpaw and daddy to meet my now husband. Wow! Have we had some bumpy road since then but God is not good.....He is great. He transforms, renews and is ever faithful. By HIS grace and HIS mercy we have made it this far and will have many, many, many, blessed years to come!!!!

2008-03-17T12:53:00.003-05:00

Today as I was doing my personal Bible study I was reading about the Triumphal Entry of Jesus. I continued on through verse 36 of John 12 when verse 28, which says, "Father, glorify thy name. Then came there a voice from heaven, saying, I have both glorified it, and will glorify it again."

GOD spoke to them letting them know that Christ was the Messiah and He was going to be glorified through Jesus. How amazing is that. I have read this passage a thousand times and I know I have been taught it but I never realized this particular passage. He was once again revealing who He was but so many of them didn't understand. I know many times in life I can look back later and see how I missed His voice showing me which direction to go and such. I only want to pursue Christ with such a passion that those times grow fewer and farther between.

Large family encouragement

2008-03-11T12:24:00.001-05:00

Such an encouraging post for large families. Also makes us think about what GOD thinks we should do regarding children....

This is a week long broadcast

http://www.familylife.com/site/c.dnJHKLNnFoG/b.3204549/

Our latest blessing

2008-02-29T13:07:00.002-06:00

Just for those who may not already know we are blessed to be receiving number six in September. Yes, we were suprised but God always knows best. Not only did He give us another blessing to raise for His Glory but He also gave Marc a promotion to provide for that blessing. As we sat in church, me still amazed and scared to death of the fact that I/we will be responsible for six little ones, the pastor said "and in the Old Testament one of God's ways of blessing people was to give them children." Needless to say I got elbowed in the ribs by my dear, sweet husband. :-) He was absolutely thrilled at the prospect. Me, well, it took me a few weeks to get use to the idea. See, its not the child, childbirth or any of that that scares me. It the total resposiblity I have to the Lord to raise that child to know Him and to desire a relationship with Him. It is our job to plant that seed and be that example.

I don't want to just raise the children the Lord has blessed us with. I want us to develope I life long relationship with them and with that to leave footsteps that lead them to the Lord. I want to leave a legacy to them and for the Lord to be glorified in how we raise them. That task overwhelms me and Marc also. Although, I think at times He has better faith that we can do it. I remember though that the Lord is faithful and He will definately be there to guide our steps we just have to keep our relationship with Him first too.

Blessing to all!

Check this out....

2008-02-13T14:43:00.001-06:00

All I can say is oh my. What is this world coming too???

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=56264

We have moved!

2007-12-13T11:04:00.000-06:00

We are sooooo blessed. God has allowed us to move to a place where Marc will be home for at least another year and we are together as a family. Not ONLY that but has blessed us with a six bedroom home with lots of room surrounded by, so far, the most kindest families that have lots of children also. One down the road has seven, one that just moved had twelve. One lady across the street stopped by while we unloading the truck at 10 p.m. just to say hello. They have four boys our kids ages. She saw the Louisiana plates and was so excited, lol. Marc will more than likely be able to go to his CCC within the next few months too. I am just sitting in awe and thinking how good God is even when we don't seem to be so faithful to Him. This past year has been just so awesome as God has grown us as a couple, a family and closer to Him. As hard as those tough times were I treasure them because they really made me grow and learn to trust God and know that He won't "drop" me. Our prayer now is to find a God-centered church where we can get plugged in and minister to others and grow as well.

The kids are so happy and you can see this is where He wants us now in everything. I'm just amazed......

2007-11-28T15:03:00.000-06:00

Today I read on a blog that referenced a news story.... you can read that here

It broke my heart for that unborn baby but mostly for those women and men. Yet, it also made me question what I truly believe. My husband and I talk about this from time to time. He jokingly tells our 15 almost 16 month old baby girl that he is trying to let her have a big brother or big sister. We at the moment have five wonderfully, beautiful children. His thoughts and to some degree mine are that if we are to look at what the Bible says about children and Who gives them to us then what are we to do. If we have no reason not to have any more and the Lord has not given us a reason to stop then we should have more and train them in the knowledge of the Lord and make disciples of them. Do I agree??? It is hard not to argue that fact.

When I read this article my first thought was did God give this first lady a precious baby to try and change her heart and yet she still chose not to follow and acknowledge Who gave her that child? That in reality, yes we are to take care of what it is that God has placed in our care but that children were a precious part of that? After all, it WAS God who said "go forth and multiply the earth". I know in my heart who put these lies out there because satan knows that if he steals the children then he takes away the future spreading of God's Word to others. We always pray in the morning when doing our Bible study together that our children's future be firmly grounded in the Lord and that they always keep that child-like faith in Christ and Who He is and what He has done for us.
God has truly blessed us with children who love Him already I pray they continue to have that love for Him.

Please pray for people who are blinded by this lie that their eyes will be open and that we would be more vocal and willing to spread His word.

2007-11-13T15:49:00.000-06:00

Thank you to all who prayed for Kenasyn. She is doing well. Marc and I changed her bandage and looked at it for the first time yesterday and it is looking great. We go back to the dr. on Thursday at 11:00. She is doing amazingly well. It is still quite tender to her and she will say "ooooohhhhh" when we clean it but other than that she is playing like nothing happened. If this has shown me anything at all it has shown me how blessed we are with each child in our lives. I am so grateful the Lord has chosed to entrust us with these beautiful children and shown His faithfulness in providing the care they need.

Well....It's pretty much official

2007-10-26T07:04:00.000-05:00

Marc was able to call us yesterday. He said they are cutting him orders to NC (Fort Bragg), where he will train for a couple of months and then deploy to Afghanistan for a year. He will be part of a PRT group or something like that. From there he is supposedly locked in to his CCC at Fort Leonard Wood, MO and then we get to move to our choice of station after that. Gotta love the Army. I'm ok with it just really hate the deployment stuff. That is such a long time. Please pray that our hearts will be protected, our eyes will stay on Christ and our devotion stays to Christ. Also, that Marc would/will be surrounded by Godly men and the kids and I will be connected in a church that truly follows after Christ. Pray also that the kids will be ok with everything too. I want the Lord to get all the glory here.

2007-09-30T15:08:00.000-05:00

OK, we had an interesting discussion in SS this morning that Marc and I had been talking about for a while now and it involves Christian Liberties. My question is what exactly is a Christian Liberty, in other words, what does it entail. I guess my thought is that the Bible holds the answer to everything and really there are no "gray" areas because Jesus showed us how to live and God gave us guidelines to go by. This is what I told Marc and it is up for discussion to whomever wishes to discuss it with me.

When you look up the definition of Liberty as I did and this is from wikipedia

Liberty is generally considered a concept of political philosophy and identifies the condition in which an individual has the ability to act according to his or her own will.

To me it means God gives me the ability to do whatsoever I please but in reality there are only two choices..... (1) being to follow after my flesh and (2) to follow after Christ. So if I am following after Christ then every answer I need to anything in in the Bible. My only liberty is to listen to what God is telling me and follow that. Now I understand that liberty in our terms can mean dresses only for women, short hair for women, etc. so, I guess this is where people get "gray" area. Our discussion this morning was on alcohol and our Christian liberty to have or abstain. But, if you are looking at the guidelines God set you will see many warnings against it. One of them being
Proverbs 20:1 Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.

My thoughts during that discussion is that our body is also a temple and whatever I do should be looked upon as that
1Co 6:19
Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, 1 whom you have from God, and you are not your own?

Plus, I should do nothing to make my brother or sister stumble

Rom 14:21
It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything that causes your brother to stumble.

Anyway, that is another discussion. I guess what I am trying to decipher within myself is that if I look to the Bible as guidelines on how to live and view things as God views them then am I using Christian Liberties as a justification to be able to live my life according to "well that is a liberty I have" and I after my flesh. Now, here is what I was telling and asking Marc.... If liberty is basically my right to choice and in reality I only have two choices and that is to follow God or follow man. Then, all of my answers are in the Bible and I simply have to look to them and how God views something and I have my answer so my "freedom" comes from the joy of following God. Right or wrong???

I am probably making no sense but then like I said I am trying to decipher it myself.

9/6/2007

2007-09-06T16:43:00.000-05:00

We go to a Bible study on Thursdsay nights at the chapel on base. It is put on by what is called the "navigators" and is a part of the campas crusade ministry. I am doing a book titles Your Life In Christ. As I was doing the study last week one of the verses was from John 21:25

"And there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written"

It just floored me but I thought how many times do I think, well if He shows me that that is really what I am suppose to do then I will believe and do so. Yes, I am rolling my eyes at myself. It's not that I don't believe it is just that I am unwilling to at the moment. Could that of been them that didn't believe. I mean, when you think about it how much He showed them, I'm thinking HOW COULD THEY NOT. Especially, being that He did more than what we have written.

Then I was reading on Lazarus and how He raised Him from the dead. (in case your wondering the book has you prove to yourself so you can show others why you believe Jesus is the Christ and Diety) I was thinking and this is probably stretching it but here is what I was thinking and feel free to question me.....

Jesus waited four days to go to Lazarus and He stated it was for the glory of God and that the Son of God might be glorified thereby. God is the One who forms us and creates us and is the only One who can give us life. Could it be that when Jesus raised Lazarus who had been dead four days (so they new beyone a shadow of a doubt that he was dead) He was showing them He was God in the flesh and truly the Messiah???? Just made me wonder........

Comment

2007-08-23T15:25:00.000-05:00

I received a comment today that I think is the best one I could of received if you call it a comment. We go to the YMCA early each morning and I do a run. Every morning there is an older man that works there that will tell me hello. Well, little did I know that he had been watching me and this morning as I was coming in the building (I run the trail outside) he said "I have a perception that your a Christian". I said "yes" and we proceeded to talk about our relationship with the Lord. I could of jumped for joy then and there and praise God for His blessing me with that comment today. I worry that my walk is not bold enough or that I just am not a good witness. I try and I pray every morning that when people see me that they only see Jesus. Yet, so many times I seem to disappoint myself in those areas. Today, I guess God gave me a little glimpse that I'm growing and for that I am soo happy and blessed that He loved me enough to do so.

Praising the Lord today!!!!

Teaching our kids

2007-08-08T06:03:00.000-05:00

We started school Monday! The kids were excited and I was too. We have some awesome curriculum this year. Even Cooper is doing school to a point. He was so funny Monday. He can spell his name out loud and he knows some of his letters but he never tried writing them. Well he was trying to make an "e" and he goes it looks like a "p" laying down. HMMMM it was funny even if I didn't see that, LOL. Reagan was quick to inform me that she wasn't real interested in Kindergarden but I just said well it's got to be done.

We've been reading through Kings in our quiet time and it had me wondering you can see how one King walked in the ways of the Lord but then his son went to do evil in the sight of the Lord. Ever wonder did the dad's even teach them???? I know I pray so hard that the kids will follow in God's path that He has set for them. I truly believe God has a set path for all of us it is just whether or not we choose to follow it. But, I also believe that it is up to us to teach God's ways to our children. Doesn't Deuteronomy say so? I know we can wonder on that all day long. I did ask a friend in Sunday School what she thought about it and she said she thought it was because the Father's didn't destroy all the high places. Maybe so. If that's the case makes you wonder what you have lying around your house that can turn your children's heart away from the Lord. I want the kids to always have that simple, trusting faith in God. I pray to never see them stray from Him.

Anyway, just my thoughts. I just want to pour what knowledge and love I have for Jesus into the kids. I pray that this year of school the kids will see that and it will be not only school but a fellowship together with Christ.

Have a blessed day!

Prayer

2007-07-27T05:22:00.000-05:00

We went to a Bible study last night. In it we got on the topic of prayer. One of the girls sitting next to me mentioned Daniel 10. Now this was a vision he saw but it really got me thinking. Daniel had been mourning for three weeks.

1 In the third year of Cyrus king of Persia a message was revealed to Daniel, whose name was called Belteshazzar. The message was true, but the appointed time was long; F32 and he understood the message, and had understanding of the vision. 2In those days I, Daniel, was mourning three full weeks. 3I ate no pleasant food, no meat or wine came into my mouth, nor did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled

Finally an angel appeared and said God had heard your prayers but the prince of the king of Persia has detained me for 21 days.

12Then he said to me, "Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand, and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words. 13But the prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me twenty-one days; and behold, Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, for I had been left alone there with the kings of Persia.

So this is what made me think. I firmly believe in spiritual warfare and that it goes on constantly we just don't always see and feel it around us. What I didn't I guess realize and I could be wrong (LOL, "off base" often Bro. Luke :) ) is that could even our prayers be stopped from being answered because of it. That even if it is prayers for good things like Daniel was praying for can be hindered by Satan. The angel fought for twenty one days till Michael came to help. So I'm wondering do even our prayers have a spiritual battle going on that even if we are with a repentent heart the answers God gives us are being fought over with the prince of this world?

1 Peter 5:8
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:

Thoughts?????

7/17/2007

2007-07-17T14:25:00.000-05:00

Saturday we visited the Creation Museum. See the slide show for pics. It was so awesome and informative. I think I was as excited as the kids, lol. They showed a movie titled "Men In White". It was about the angels Gabriel and Michael convincing a girl to believe who was contemplating creation vs. evolution. It was so cool and worth going to. I won't spoil the fun if you get to go. Anyway, one of the people in the movie said "there is no God". Delaney looked at me with such big, innocent eyes and said "mom, he doesn't believe in God!" I said "I know isn't that sad that some people don't". That's why you have to pray for them and tell them about Him. Lot's of fun and very educational.

7/12/2003

2007-07-12T05:53:00.000-05:00

Today after reading with Marc I started reading the Beatitudes. I was reading them yesterday and came across verse 8 which says "Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God." I had and have been praying that God would give me a pure heart and let me see my heart as He sees it and just "clean house" so to say. When I looked it up I saw pure in heart is opposite of a proud spirit. That's true, God wants the glory for everything. I sat here thinking, if anything takes my eyes off of Christ then I don't want it. I want a totally pure heart before Him. I don't want blessings of material things if it makes me look in any other direction. I AM blessed because of who I have as my Savior and Lord. God is blessing me by showing me and cleaning out my heart of all it's ugliness. I see it in my reaction to the way I react to the kids behavior, I see it in the reaction I have towards my husband. I see it in the more compassion I have in my heart and the wanting to live righteously. God is doing a mighty work. I see it in wanting to give my whole self to be used by Him. Things that seem impossible now seem possible. Things that I feared now still scare me but I am seeing who God is and why He wants it. Yes, I am truly blessed. Why? It's not because I am a wife and mommy although that is a wonderful gift from my Lord. No, I am blessed because God is working in me and Christ is my Lord and I've embraced the only way to salvation.

7/11/2007

2007-07-11T15:26:00.000-05:00

Does God still speak to you in dreams? If He is never changing then I think He does we just have to discern if it is that or just things we went to bed thinking about or ate :) . I never dream. I think it is because I am an early riser and we go to bed around 9:00 and by that time I just crash knowing I'll be getting up in the middle of the night with Kenasyn. I had a horrible dream night before last though and it was totally vivid. In fact, I can still picture it in my mind and see it clearly. I have no idea why I would dream it but I did. It's was pretty graphic but I'll post it. I was somewhere but have no clue where. I saw kids all around but I couldn't see their faces so I don't know if it was mine or others or what. I was screaming "you don't understand, I have to find him" over and over. It was completely dark and everything looked like shadows. I reached this door and knew he would be there. When I opened it I saw my oldest standing there screaming and wearing nothing. It was a shower and out the door poured blood and water. It wasn't red water but clearly separated blood and water but all pouring out the same time. I looked to the corner of the shower and sitting there was the same uncle who molested me sitting there and he looked directly in my face and said "I did it". He looked the same as he did then. I screamed "no" and kept trying to get to him because I knew I wanted to kill him that instant but I couldn't get to him. It was like something was holding me back. I woke up shaking. It was the worse dream I could ever imagine having.

I'm wondering if it could have meaning or not....

7/10/2007

2007-07-10T05:34:00.000-05:00

More scriptures on the heart.

Proverbs 10:8
Psalm 66:18
Matthew 15:8

I've been looking and praying and searching. Is my heart far from God. When I looked at Proverbs 10:8 it ways "The wise in heart will receive commandments: but a prating fool shall fall." I think it's that sometimes I know that there are certain things God would have me to do and I just really don't want to do them. I think surely not Lord. Do I do them anyway? Yes, sometimes but how wrong is that. I'm obeying but I'm obeying out of obligation not from my heart. God doesn't just want obedience he wants us. He wants us willingly and as a sacrifice to Him that comes from everything within us. That's what I want to be. I want people to see Him in everything I do so that He gets the glory for it. Like I said though, I feel like sometimes it is begrudgingly when I looked at my thoughts Sunday. I was so angry at myself. I saw myself gladly taking on the thoughts of the world, the thoughts of things I can't stand, all because of selfish desires. Then I ask a question to someone and see the same thing. We have to stay so close to God or we get that way. Funny thing is if you are in His word and in prayer and yet not giving your whole self to it, how easy is it to get that way where the world's standards seem so much better than Gods? I never want that. I know God's ways are so much better and that He loves me enough to allow me to see what He sees in me just like I love my children enough to correct them and show them right from wrong. Don't we serve a great loving God.

7/9/2007

2007-07-09T17:34:00.001-05:00

I started studying about the heart today. Why you ask? Hmmm, well this past weekend a subject that continues to keep coming up really made me look at myself. Then something was said yesterday, according to that person not meant in a bad way but it is always my theory and I found it today that what is said "but not meaning that way" really was because waht you say proceeds from the heart. Of course, there was a lot said yesterday and I'm not innocent but it really makes you look at your heart. I wish I had a mirror today that I could talk too. By that I mean someone who would make me really dig into myself and see what it is that is causing all this. I know the Lord is trying to clean and for that I am grateful because it means He loves me enough to do so. See, according to Marc we have a calling. According to me that is fine as long as that calling doesn't always have to come from me. Now my liberal sister and if you knew her you would know what I was talking about says that is an unsubmissive attitude. Well, that stuck like really hard. Especially coming from her. I do love her though. I guess what I want to know is it a calling and does God call that to some people and not others or is it just a desire. I know all this is going to sound so strange to anyone who reads it but I'm being vague for privacy and I need to get my thoughts out.

Anyway, the verses I found on the heart are
Matthew 12:35-37
2 Chronicles 25:2
1 Samuel 16:7
Ezekiel 36:26-29

I'll look up and study more tomorrow.

7/3/2007

2007-07-03T07:30:00.000-05:00

How's this for a vague question I am asking myself....

If a fear is causing me to not be what I am asking God to help me to be and not giving of myself as I should then is it an answer from God on a question that I've been praying about I'm running from??? Since fear is not of God and the only thing we should fear is the Lord which is a "healthy fear". HMMMMM..

6/28/2007

2007-06-28T06:41:00.000-05:00

This morning I was reading 1 Kings 19 again. It is where Elijah flees from Jezebel. Now the story is after he sees this great miracle of God where he sends fire from Heaven and then the prophets of Baal are killed. You would think that Elijah would be on a spiritual high and all. However, we look at vs. 4 and it says

But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, it is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers.

Elijah felt all alone. He, after experiencing an mighty work of God, heard what Jezebel wanted to do (kill him) and fled. He didn't feel God with him, didn't think he was anything special to God and just wanted to die. Yet, God in His loving grace and mercy fed him and took care of him.

Jump down to verse 11 after he arrives at a cave and God tells him to go upon the mount.

11 And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord: but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake: 12 And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice. 13 And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entering of the cave. And, behold, there came a voice unto him, and said, What doest thou here, Elijah?

God was in the still small voice. Wow! How many times do I want to hear this REAL LOUD VOICE or miracle from the Lord to know what He wants when He actually is just whispering in my heart but I'm not still enough to sit and listen??? You see God never left Elijah, not even when Elijah wanted to God to allow him to die because he felt all alone. He was right there taking care of him. Elijah saw a miracle and but lost his perspective for a while. Yet it was the still small voice that gave him strength and hope. I remember a time when someone told me they had been praying and just didn't see God. They asked God to show them a miracle so they would know He was there. They said instead of showing her a miracle God took her back in memories of all the things He had helped her through and she said in that moment she knew God was always with her. It's through the hard times when we don't feel God but trust that He is there that we develope a deep relationship with Him, a reliance on Him. At least, that is how it works for me. It's that faith in action thing. I hate going through it but it's the persevering that makes me stronger.

Kind of like that race that Paul talks about it. You have to train your physical body to make it through a competition. I can't just get up one day and say I think I'll run a marathon today. I have to train for it and each day I get a little stronger. It works the same in my spiritual life. God has to help me get a little stronger each and every day. My Bible and my prayer life is my lifeline. I want to strive each and every day to grow in my walk with my Savior. I can't if I just look at him when I am in trouble or I want a miracle. Will He be there? Yes, but my question is will I recognize His voice? I don't just want miracles in my life I want a deep friendship with my Lord. I want to hear that still small voice. I don't want to ever lose my perspective but to hold on to the truth now and always. I want to, like Elijah, hear that still small voice and to always remember that through good times and bad God is taking care of me and is always with me.

6/26/2007

2007-06-26T06:17:00.000-05:00

Friday night we had our VBS program. It was great and the kids LOVED going. Well, Baylor and Delaney did. The others didn't get to as they were not old enough. It was so cute. Baylor, our oldest who is eight, got in the car Tuesday after I picked him up and he said "mom, I like going to this Bible school but I sure miss Westsides." I asked him what made him miss it and he said "well, there everyone gets to go. Reagan and Cooper aren't getting to learn about Jesus this week." You have to know Baylor. He absolutely loves learning about missionaries and the stories of in the Bible. When school was in part of his curriculum was reading through 1 Kings. He devoured it and would talk to me about it all the time. He tells us he is going to be a missionary when he grows up. We will see. I am praying that God make clear to each child their ministry for Him.

So anyway, Friday night as we were putting them to bed we found Baylor on his bed crying because VBS had ended. Now the church we are going to stops all childrens functions including children's church in the mornings for the summer. So, kids go to SS and then to "big church". We didn't realize it at the time of joining the church. We don't rely on just the church to teach them as we do family Bible story time at night and pray with them each night but they absolutely love going to children's church, ra's/ga's and all that. It hit Marc and he said "they need to be spiritually fed just like us." They do. They absolutely do. Kids have a faith that is so unbelievable strong and they desire that relationship with their Savior. It hit me then that I had been praying that all of us would have an unquenchable thirst to spend time with God and commune with Him throughout the day. It made me realize that God is answering our prayers for our children. I can see such unique personalities in each of them and I am praying that God show me how to nurture it best for His glory. Delaney, with her soft spoken docile personality. She has such a big heart and it hurts her worse to hurt somebody than it does to get hurt herself. Reagan, well she has such a powerful personality. Goodness. Between her and Cooper we are trying to figure out how to guide it into an obedience without breaking the spirit God gave them. Pray for us there, LOL! We have yet to figure out Kenasyn's but seems like she will truly be the clown.

Anyway, back to my thoughts on that though. I can see God is working and bringing us to new level and teaching us along the way. Marc was telling me this morning how he wants to worship not just "in church" but in everything he does. It was funny because he said "I don't know why but it just popped in my head." Well, I had been praying that morning after he left (he had to come back because he had forgotten to pick up his lunch) that God would speak to him in heart and he would know it was from Him. Our routine is that we get up in the mornings and read together and pray then he goes to p.t. and to work but he gets there a little early to pray alone and read alone and I do the same here. It is so cool to see God work.

things about me

2007-06-21T14:11:00.000-05:00

Saw this on another blog and thought it was cool. Now, they had 100 things about me but I doubt I will get that far, LOL

Things about me:

1) Born November 20th
2) My mom didn't find out she was pregnant for me till she was almost 4 months along
3) When my mom saw me after she awoke from my birth she was sure I was not hers until the nurse brought her the only other baby in the nursery and they were Asian.
4) My grandparents nicknamed me sunshine, my mom and dad kimbo and my sister kimmy (now aunt kimmy to my nephews :) )
5) I am an early riser and always have been
6) I love to change my hair color when I can
7) I "get dressed" whether I am going somewhere or not
8) I LOVE to exercise
9) Even though I love to exercise I am horrible at sports
10) I love to watch football and the New Orleans Saints are my favorite team
11) I think kids playing sports are the cutest thing to watch
12) I like old music and christian music.
13) Favorite old band is The Beatles
14) Favorite Christian artist is a toss up between Toby Mac and Third Day and Skillet
15) I am VERY competitive with myself. Those who know me understand
16) Very critical of myself and always see room for growth
17) Married TEN years this past April
18) FIVE beautiful chilren that are miracles considering my past
19) Extremely close to my brother and sister
20) Best thing about turning 18 was I got to VOTE, yes dad instilled that in us at an early age
21) DON'T believe in straight ticket voting
22) Prolife
23) Love the Lord
24) Believe true contentment can only be found in the Lord
25) Lived in New Orleans, Lake Charles, Sulphur, Monroe, Westlake, Chicago, Gulfport and now Ft. Campbell
26) Best rememberance of turning 21 was the cabbage cake. Those who knew me then will remember, LOL
27) Biggest fear of things is snakes
28) Another fear is failing or something happening to our kids and Marc being deployed at the time
29) Extremely introverted
30) Hate speaking in front of a group
31) Best friend besides family I met by Marc bringing home her number when he got home from A-school in Chicago and said you would like this guys wife. I wouldn't call her and then one day we had to bring Brandon home and I met her. She called me the next day and we've been friends every since!
32) Became a Christian at the age of 26 in our little apartment at 4:00 a.m., January 2000 after going to church all my life. Pretty sad, huh?
33) Jesus is the center of my life and my whole world.
34) I'm mostly vegetarian by know other reason other than my mind works that way
35) I have a thing with food
36) I love to read
37) I love heath and fitness books
38) I have taught aerobics class and everyone always had to ask me to speak up :) Uh yeah, introvert
39) Can't ever sit real still through a movie
40) Don't care for TV, think it is a waste of energy
41) That part of me drives my husband insane
42) Always wanted to be a wife and mom
43) Always wanted a large family
44) Hate going to the doctor and taking medicine
45) Love natural child birth and nursing
46) Favorite food is cabbage and peaches
47) Favorite verse is 1 Corinthian 2:9
48) Believe Jesus is the Messiah and is coming back
49) I love to push myself to be better
50) Believe we are all created for a purpose
51) Beliefs are basically Southern Baptist
52) Always wanted to learn to dance
53) Had several surgeries to fix a cleft lip
54) Love talking to older women and glean wisdom from them
55) I ask questions all the time
56) Love to learn

Hmmm! That's all I can think of right now.

6/21/2007

2007-06-21T06:11:00.000-05:00

This morning after I read with Marc and prayed and he left I started a simple Bible study on Elijah. It was one I found on the internet. It wasn't laid all out like most, you actually had to study and think. Yes, I love to think. Boy, did I learn and it wasn't a LOT of studying like you would think. It's funny you can do these big huge pages and pages of studying and get a tiny trickle out of it. But, have your heart in it and allow God to show you something and just a few verses will pierce your heart so big.

So it was 1 Kings 17. What got to me the most of vs. 24 "Now by this I know that thou art a man of God and that the word of the LORD in thy mouth is truth".

It was Elijah's actions that proved to the woman his faith in God. Now, if you have been reading my blog you know that I am struggling with my attitude and my actions. I KNOW that my attitude sometimes and my actions at times don't prove my faith a bit. That is what aggravates me the most. I say I am a Christian but does it show? Would people be able to see it? Is it noticable????? See, my flesh tries to convince myself in this way. (1) I'm not a drinker of any alcohol, won't even find it in our house for cooking ;) (2) I'm faithful to my husband (3) I don't go to clubs (4) I'm conservative in all my views, etc.... So, I'm good right??? I should be known that I'm a christian through these ways. Uhmmmm, sorry God says, your wrong.

The Bible says I should be known by my fruits. What are the fruits? Well Galations 5:22 & 23 says "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance against such there is no law". Hmmmm pretty sobering I do believe because if I look at all those I'm lacking a whole lot. Sure I have love. I mean I love my husband and children emmensly but do they always KNOW that. I say I have joy in my salvation but do I really show that? Peace, well, we won't even go there and so forth. You see my heart really wants sooooo bad to be that woman of God that God wants because I want people to desire Him. I think of all the people out there that are trusting in themselves and their GOODNESS and just the fact that they know who Jesus is to go to Heavan when the truth is they are going to Hell. I know of one dear, so dear to my heart right now. Oh, if I could only get it through his head. But, then I look at my life and wonder do I show it to him? Sure I go to church and he knows that. But am I too complacent in my walk that he can't see what a true relationship is?

When we were reading Revelations these past few weeks I had notes in my Bible about the seven churches only the notes were for us to look at ourselves and see which one we were. I would love to say I was Philadelphia but I'd be lying to myself and that is a pet peeve of mine. Actually I see myself in all the others at different times. I try to be so independent like Laodicea. That causes not only a problem in my walk with the Lord but also in my marriage big time. They were neither hot nor cold and I see that in myself sometimes. If I was on fire like I should be people would be able to see the Lord and I wouldn't be having such a time with my attitudes and actions.

God is slowly molding me. I want to come out of my shell and I want to be bolder yet loving and embrace who God made me to be. I want to be that clay in my potter's hand. But as I was reminded the other day I have to want to be molded and I have to jump when God says jump. Because to me faith is more than just a thought it is an action in trusting God so that it is a witness to others.

So here is my gut check question today to myself.

If I believe that God is who He says He is, then what difference does it make and how does it affect my life and am I living it accordingly?

6/19/2007

2007-06-19T06:15:00.000-05:00

Where do I start??!! Marc and I have been having looooonnnnngggg conversations about what God is working on and where He is leading us. I want so bad to be that wife and mother and mostly woman of God that He wants me to be. I see the same thing in Marc. He is striving so hard. When he left this morning he texted me and asked me to pray extra today for him :) little did he know that I asked God to send me reminders throughout the day to pray for him when God knew he needed it. So much is going on in our family and my extended family. God has a big plan and satan wants to stop it but we all know who is going to come out the winner. Yeah God!

My heart is just overflowng with the want to be in His will and do as He wants me to do. I don't want to just obey but be totally and ultimately in love with my Savior. I am in love with Him but I want to be even more so if that is possible. I know so many times my attitudes and actions don't show it and I hate that.

We are also struggling with rules and things for our home and what is allowed in it. TV has become a big issue. It's not a problem for me but then I can't sit still long enough to watch it and really don't care to. However it is with the kids and Marc is seeing it too. Where do you draw the line there and what is ok and what is not? We have just supposedly a family friendly basic pckg at Directv but I see so much of what is not family friendly. This is where I pray that the Lord reveals to Marc what to do and I keep my mouth shut about what I want to do. Now, he knows I hate seeing them glued to the thing and he knows what programs I don't like them watching and he is ok with that. But, it is his decision on to keep it, get rid of it or to switch to something like skyangel which i dont' know of one person who has it and don't even talk to them enough to know how it is. I just pray that the Lord reveal to Marc on what to do about that.

There are so many other things we have been thinking of and talking about regarding our family too. It is so hard to know the right and wrong way to raise a family. It is hard to be that wife that I know God wants me to be. I'm striving to be that Prov and 1 Peter wife. My heart longs for that and I know God has brought me far but I sure have a long way to go. Thank goodness God and Marc are patient with me. I am so glad we are talking to and wanting to talk. God has been good in providing us time for that too where the kids are playing nicely and quietly and we can sit alone and talk. I can remember days when we could of cared a less about it.

I'm still praying for that mentor and Marc said he is too. Someone to challenge our growth and help us along the way. I want that so much. I asked Marc to point out things yesterday that irritate him and ways I could help him more. At first he was leary but when he saw my sincerity and that I wasn't trying to pick a fight :) he told me and we discussed it. God is going to provide one for that I am sure.

Have a blessed day!

6/14/2007

2007-06-14T06:19:00.000-05:00

1 Chronicles 28:9 An thou, Solomon my son, know thou the God of thy father, and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind: for the Lord searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts: if thou seek him, he will be found of thee; but if thou forsake him, he will cast thee off for ever.

Proverbs 14:1 Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hadns.

These were two verses we read in our Bible time this morning. They just hit me when I read them. It's funny, you can read something a thousand times over and God places it in front of you just when you need it the most. I loved the proverb. That is my hearts desire. I want to be the wise woman that builds her house. I want to support, encourage and pray for my husband and children. God has blessed me so much with a prayerful husband and childrend who love Him.

I've learned attitudes have a lot to do with it. For a while there I was having a hard time with my attitude. Not with my husband but with the kids and training them. It seemed like I was going in circles with housework and fighting between them. It was doing no good telling them they were to love their brothers and sisters. With the Lord's help on my attitude about it and Marc's reinforcement with them we're working on it. I noticed my frustrated attitude was rubbing off on them and it wasn't a Godly one.

Yesterday was a positive show of how it was working. I saw us all helping one another and with Marc teaching them responsibility it is doing wonders. Delaney helped with a load of laundry, Reagan and Cooper actually cleaned up the living room, Baylor helped by deboning chicken (which I HATE doing, blech)while I swept and mopped the floors. FINALLY we were working as a TEAM! It was so awesome. Then that afternoon, Baylor and Delaney were each sharing willingly her bike while dad fixed Baylor's.

God is steadily working on attitudes. I have been praying that we as a family are clay in His hands willing to be shaped and molded. Isn't He awesome!

6/11/2007

2007-06-11T06:11:00.000-05:00

What is going in here? I was telling Marc yesterday I just feel so lost. I've felt this way before but it was when he and I were going through so much and I went through a period where God just felt so far away and all I wanted was to feel His arms around me. I'm doing a big heart search. I've checked to see where sin was that was causing this. Now, don't get me wrong I know I sin daily but I can't find where I am lusting after something/someone, gossipping, etc all that. I know I put too much or have been putting too much in other things to provide for our family (job, etc) instead of God. We give not for the sake of having too but of wanting too so I know it is that I do want the security of home and health but yet it's not to have "things" just to be able to provide for children and such. Anyway, I know Satan is up to something and God is developing our character or that is what Marc told me yesterday. He said he know's God is working in His character and it is or could be that He is working in mine too.

This morning when Marc and I got up to do our Bible and prayer time together before he had to leave for work as soon as he came downstairs and opened his Bible he said I have to tell you this because it is bothering me and I want your prayers. He said he had a dream and the dream was so vivid that he woke up scared to death. He said he had gone to do something in his dream and met a woman. He said he spent time with her and although in his dream he didn't "do" anything with her he woke up at her house after a night telling her he had to get the kids to school. He said he knew I was around in the dream somewhere but didn't know where at the time. He said somehow Satan got in his mind. I wasn't mad or upset I just prayed for him. Now that I am journaling all this I do find it strange though that this past week I have been praying for God to guard our hearts and mind and marriage. How is it that Satan knows all this!!!! It's probably also that Marc has started leading us as a family in Bible studies. Satan doesn't want that either.

It's neat to be a target because it's affermation that you are going to be used but at the same time it is such a struggle. I want to be on that mountain and right now I'm in that valley but at the same time I wouldn't learn so I'll persevere through the valley and know that even though I don't feel the Lord and my heart just feels so empty that it's by faith that I know He is there.

I've started praying for a mentor. I want one so bad someone who can challenge me in my walk to be a better wife adn mother but more so a better woman for God. Marc said he would love one too. He said the meeting with the pastor here is good but he wants one more so along those lines. God will provide and no matter what I will trust in HIM.

figuring out the heart

2007-06-08T14:05:00.000-05:00

Wow, has the Lord been speaking to me here lately. My heart has been so heavy with trying to figure out what the Lord is telling me and how He is working. I know some has been my attitude and the way I react to things. I get to where I feel so out of control that I want to be in total control, if that makes sense. Most of that came from not spending ENOUGH time with God to hear Him. I was too afraid of what He was telling me. I know He is leading Marc and I into a work somewhere doing something. I can sense it and feel it and it terrifies me. I keep thinking and asking what do I have to offer. Of course, that brings to the thought of Moses who thought he had nothing to offer. Yes, I'm rolling my eyes at that. I am greatly reminded by my Savior that it won't be me talking it will be HIM talking through me. Yes, Lord, I know but here comes a thousand more excuses. The fact remains it scares me and that comes not from the Lord and I have no excuse because His Word tells me to seek Him and he will deliver me from them (Psalm 34:4)

A while back Marc said "If the Lord tells me to get out of the military as much as I love it I have to obey". My heart immediately dropped not so much because of getting out of the military but I thought what if he sends us to some far away jungle. What are we to do????? The answer is simple "follow Him". I would do it just I hope not with an unwilling heart. I want to do things for Him with a joyful heart and a willing heart.

I've been praying for Marc a lot with his job. For him to be the best at it and he would feel God's presence there, especially since it is so hard for him there surrounded by no christian fellowship. Well, today I am almost positive it was the Lord speaking but I could be wrong but I felt an answer and I'm going to see if it is true and then I will know. I sure wish I could bounce it off someone besides family. I'm not mentioning it to Marc even if he reads it and ask because I want to know it isn't my mind and I don't influence and decision making process.

He is growing and becoming so bold yet humbled too. It's amazing. Sometimes I feel leaps and bounds behind him in my growth. I know we will do that in marriage and life. That is what growing is. A daily walk. I just wish I could grow fast and always know what it is the Lord is saying. My heart just longs to be sooooo more and more in love with Him and to have that indescribable relationship that I know we will only have once we are able to worship Him in Heaven.

Anyway, any feedback is welcome :)

And the Lord was with him

2007-06-06T06:09:00.000-05:00

This morning we read 1 Chronicles 9 and 10. Let me tell you, that is a hard book to be going through with all those names! We would love to know if we are pronouncing them right though I hardly doubt we are. Anyway, it was my turn to read and I read chapter 9 verse 20. It goes like this "And Phinehas the son of Eleazar was the ruler over them in time past, and the LORD was with him."

It just hit me and I looked at Marc and said do you ever wish you just knew that. Now, don't get me wrong, I know that the Lord is always with me where-ever I go but sometimes I just wish He was visibly there guiding me every step of the way and telling me nope that's wrong or I need you to go this way. So many times I wonder is this right or is this wrong because I just don't know as hard as try to hear. Then there are times when I just want to sit and say Lord just hold me for a moment and let me rest in you.

I guess my heart's desire is to just know that when I get to Heaven and am standing in front of my Savior He looks and says "well done". I know every Christian feels that way. I just know I struggle a lot with obedience and grace. I was telling Marc Sunday that when I was running Saturday I was praying and having a conversation with God and I was learning that I want a list of do's and don'ts from God. I don't give myself a whole lot of room for mess ups and that I don't deserve in my mind grace. I know in reality I don't that it is a free gift from God but I guess I see that if I had these right and wrong things on a list it would be able to hear what God is telling us and where He is leading us and life would be easier.

Marc's answer was that in life God has to lead us like the Israelites, all around to show us and grow us. That in each stop whether it was a good one or a bad one if we listen and hear and learn it is a growing spot. He's right. I can look over my life and see that so clearly. He is so gracious there in loving us enough to be with us even in our failings and to pick us up so we can run to Him and His arms are always opened wide to receive us.

So, God is with us if we sit and listen and open our hearts and minds to Him. Just most of the time we close them up and don't offer it to Him. That's what I want in my life though. If I have that then that is all I need. I want my heart, mind, soul, everything within me to be so intuned with my Savior and Lord that I hear His every breath and word. I want to be utterly and completely in love with Him more and more each and every day.

On the radio today

2007-06-05T13:46:00.000-05:00

Today on my quest to find a part for the washer (which is a story all it's own) so Marc could fix it I entered this store where a talk show was playing. The show was about how birth control has effected us as a society. He was saying that because birthcontrol became so readily available that more people started having sex before and outside of marriage. Also he said when they legalized abortion it lowered the adoption availability because those who would have given their children up for adoption when abortion was illegal, now, just has the abortion. Those who would not of had an abortion more than likely just keeps their baby because the would have anyway.

This is an issue that Marc and I have contemplated over and over and over, not abortion or adoption, but birth control for us. Now, we don't do hormonal birthcontrol. A conviction of mine and with him doing research his now too. One being that some can inhibit the attachment of the egg to the lining (implantation) which my belief is that life is at conception NOT implantation therefore the loss of a child possibly had I released an egg that was fertilized. Here is the site along with the copy of information

http://www.birthcontrol.com/faq.aspx#1

What are birth control pills?

Birth control pills contain a combination of hormones that is used to prevent ovulation (the release of an egg from an ovary). The pills contain a form of estrogen and a form of progesterone, which are both female hormones involved in conception.
Birth control pills also have other effects that inhibit pregnancy. They cause the cervical mucous to thicken, which makes it harder for sperm to move toward the uterus, and they prevent the attachment of an egg to the uterus.

http://www.days.org/birthcontrol.html

How They Work
A. Chemical (Birth Control Pills, injectable Depo-Provera, and Norplant)
1. Suppress ovulation. The two ovaries are motivated to not emit ovum (the egg) during its normal monthly time. The combination birth control pill (estrogen and progesterone) fails to prevent release of an egg in 23% to 50% of monthly cycles. The "mini-pill" (progesterone only) and other progestins such as Depo-provera and Norplant, probably have the same ovalation rate over a years time.
2. Thickens cervical mucus. The mucus within the woman's cervix is thickened. As a result, the sperm have difficulty reaching the ovum (egg) for fertilization. If any sperm are successful in fertilizing the egg to produce a baby, it has difficulty in timely reaching the wall of the womb in order to implant and sustain itself within the normal 4 to 10 days.
3. Alters uterine lining. The chemicals retard normal build-up of nutriments on the uterine (womb) wall, leaving the newly fertilized egg (baby) without nourishment, causing its death and elimination in the menstrual period.

These are just a few of the sites. They make me want to cry just reading that. Anyway, even before I knew all of that I wouldn't take them the two times I was prescribed them for medical purposes it caused me more harm than good. I'm also one of those people who don't like to put anything artificial in their bodies. EVEN if I had not known how they work after I saw what they did to my sister I would chunk them. Now, off my soap box.

I would say for what I did hear on the radio show, I would tend to agree with whoever it was. First and foremost because when it did become available you saw more STD's spread, more teen pregnancy and more extra-marital affairs. Now, did those things happen before birth control became so readily available? Yes, but I don't think to the extent that it does now. Then you've got the whole women's right movement in that it is a woman's right to do to her body as she pleases. Well, yes, we all have rights and free wills but the question to ask is "does it please the Lord".

I was telling Marc about the radio show when he called yesterday and he said "I wonder if Satan used the knowledge given to men to help in medicine as a ploy?" Hmmmm....something to think about.

It's sad, especially when I look at our girls and our boys too. We pray for them so much. I hope they never venture there. I remember when our pastor in MS. was preaching on the sacredness of sex within marriage and he said he hated the fact that when him and his wife were married that he had been with other people because it made such a difference. I thought "you are so right". You don't have that something special to give to your spouse.

There is a question though that we struggle with and have been for years....If children are a blessing (gift) and God is sovereign in that He is in control of EVERYTHING, then when do you know when you are "done" and when do you know to let go for more? We have searched scripture and searched scripture. I think it all leads to contentedness and listening to His leading. For me, God designed my body where LAM works for a long time. From there we either have more or use NFP. God has His way of telling us what He wants from us.

A cool thing I heard on the radio coming home yesterday was this guy was saying what his pastor preached on Sunday. (Now, I'm trying to remember this correctly so correct me if I'm wrong) It was the name that God told Moses who He was (Yahweh). He said it was the first name that had been used for God. To say it correctly it is a "breath?" word. He said it was cool because the first things we do when we are born is breathe and the last thing we do before we die is take our "last breath". In other Words, God should be in everthing we do from beginning to end. It was said much better, like I said, it's coming from memory and I have slept since yesterday.

So I obviously had a lot of radio from yesterday to today but we don't do TV hardly at all soooooo.............

Because I'm a mommy

2007-06-01T15:11:00.000-05:00

I am part of a message board that I read mostly instead of posting but it's one for mom's of many. I guess you could consider five being sort of many, lol. Anyway it is a Christian site also, so that's a plus.

Today I was reading a post that a lady wrote that talked about how being a mom has effected her. Some of what she wrote was being more knowledgeable regarding her health, pregnancies, and body in general. Being more aggressive in learning how to organize her time, home and finances. Being more connected with her husband and more aware of the constant need to keep their relationship strong and healthy. Last but DEFINATELY NOT least is being SO much closer to the Lord. The everyday and not-so-every day challenges continue to bring me to my knees in prayer for guidance, strength, wisdom, strength, energy, hope, strength, gratitude, praise, comfort, healing and did I say strength??

A while back before we moved I was in Wal-Greens and met a man there that he and his wife worked out at Dynamic. I knew from speaking to her that they had seven children. He must of seen the chaos of a time I was having that day because he came over to help. He helped me out to the car and was saying how he missed having many younger ones (although his youngest was two I believe at the time) because he realized he started focusing more on his selfish nature of doing things he wanted to do and not on serving others or something like that. I thought WOW! I never thought about it like that.

I know just by looking at the kids I can sometimes see how their attitudes on things just really irks me. Then, I realize very humbly, how they are just reflecting my attitudes. Sometimes it is through the eyes of a child that we see what the Lord is teaching us. I get so mad at myself when I see them reflecting things I hate about myself and realize that is something I need to turn over to the Lord. I know my children know that I love them. I thank God for them every night when we pray together but I sure could show it more. I could give of myself more to them and to others. I think, how in the world am I to show the lvoe of Christ to people when I don't see it in myself because of my actions.

Of course, we tend to compare our "sins" and so we get this prideful thing going. I know I do. I hear language and think "boy, they must not be a Christian". The same with drinking, smoking, etc. But then I'm thinking well, do they really see the Christian in me? If I don't stop to help or I lose my temper to someone in line or I talk about someone and not even realize it. What does that show?

This sure did end up being a rambling post but my whole point is that God sure did and does use our children to show me glimpse's of where He needs to work. I am very thankful for them and they sure are blessings. Especially, knowing He gave them to me when Dr.'s told me we wouldn't.

2007-05-29T06:26:00.000-05:00

Our newest family photo :)

Wow, seeing that picture just reminds me how blessed I am. Only by God's grace though. Yet, I think of how many times I don't thank God enough for His goodness. Lately the Lord has been telling me how busy I have allowed myself to be without truly speaking to Him as I should. I know that I have allowed Satan room for that. I've managed to put God off to the side and though I stay in His Word I haven't spent time in alone time prayer as I should. Praise to the Lord that He has shown that to me. I think so many times we can be so happy where we are and where God has placed us in our daily life (such as family and doing family things together) that we don't think to come to Him and thank Him or spend time with Him as we should and then we wonder why He gives us little "wake up calls". Why is it we think tend to only want to communicate with our Lord when things go bad? Yet, we wonder why bad things happen. Now, don't get me wrong that I think only good things happen when we are in fellowship with God. I think there are always mountains and valley's in our walk regardless where we are at. But, I think that at times, when things are going good, we allow Satan get us distracted for a moment and we say we will pray when we get a minute. Only, that minute always seems further and further away. Well, I refuse to let Satan get this one! I never want to be too busy for life that I forget to communicate to the One who gives me life. I don't want to ever forget my first love. God, you have given me such hope and joy. Thank you for all you have done and even if my life was or is full of pain and suffering it doesn't compare to what you went through for me nor does it compare to the hope I have to look forward to when I meet you face to face.

Family day yesterday

2007-05-20T16:20:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was so much fun. A wondeful day actually, even if it was extremely busy. :) We started off the morning getting everything together. I had a Strides for Hope for the Crisis Pregnancy Center. I ran 3.2 miles in 25 minutes!!!!! I was sooo happy and Marc thought that was awesome. We averaged it out to about a 7.8 minute mile in LOTS of hills. I came in one of the top ten. I just wanted to complete it that was enough for me. I've only ran in hills one time and that was with Marc when we first got here. I sure hope they raised a good amount of money. It's an awesome ministry.

We then did T-ball with Cooper and Tae Kwon Do with Baylor and then headed to the Luis Palau City festival. Everything was free and it was sooo much fun. We heard lots of bands. One was a guy called Tye Tribbett I believe. He was really good but he gave an awesome message on homosexuality and lesbianism and trusting God. He said he wasn't afraid to speak how homosexuality is a total sin and we can be free if we follow Christ. One of the things I loved was on trusting God though. I really needed to hear that. He said a while back at one of the festivals he gave a concert at afterwards on the way home one of his band members was killed in an accident. He said for a long time afterwards he kept asking God why and that it just didn't make sense and He wanted to know. He said God told him some things are not to be known. That, if we know everything then we would have no reason to trust Him. That He allows that void of unknown to allow us to trust. He worded it much better but it was an awesome sermon in the middle of his concert.

The kids got to see Toby Mac, too. It was so heart lifting to hear them singing songs that gave praise to God. I will forever have the picture engraved in my head of Cooper on his daddy's shoulders with a big grin singing "I am alive again. I am revived again. You lift me, you lift me up......" He was so happy. They had many, many testimonies there. Really made you evaluate your walk with the Lord.

I looked around though at the family God has blessed me with and feel sooooo blessed. Especially with all the divorce I hear around us here. The divorce rate Marc said in his unit alone is 70%. To think, if I would have given up that would of been us. God gets all the glory there though. I could of never hung in there and I know Marc could of never put up with me had God not had a plan and purpose for our lives. Now, to see where He is leading us.

My heart just burst the other day. Marc and I were talking and he said "I have to follow where it is God is leading me." WOW! That was profound for him to say. I tell him I am very proud of who He is becoming and when we pray together in the mornings he knows I am praying for his integrity, honesty and leadership both at work and in the family. It is neat to here him pray for my day too. The kids get frustrated sometimes because Marc will say something correcting them or telling them an answer to a something they ask and they will come to me and ask the same thing and I say "whatever your daddy said goes". They never really had that and it is cool to see that they see unity. Anyway, we had an awesome time yesterday. A first of many family days.

Sorting through

2007-05-18T12:36:00.000-05:00

My thoughts. We found out yesterday that Marc is leaving for Afghanistan around Feb/April time frame for 15 months. That is soooo hard. I'm trying desperately to be supportive and yet at the same time be supportive. You know, just when you think you have your flesh in check something happens, lol. I know I made him upset yesterday by telling him how I hated it and in the same breathe saying I support him because he went to bed without telling me goodnight. This morning after we did our Bible reading and praying he kissed me good bye and I said "oh, I get a kiss and a good bye this morning!" He laughed and said well you were so mad yesterday. I wasn't mad at all I just felt like crying. I still feel like crying. Don't get me wrong I think it is admirable of him. Especially that he wants to go and "do his duty" as he says and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it is not to get away from us. It's just hard. Military life is hard. But, we will prevail. God will bring us through it. You would think after ten years of this I would be use to it, especially knowing it is coming but no, for some reason it always catches me. Oh well, I just need prayer that things will stay on track and God will see us through which I know for a fact will happen. He's my stronghold and always will be.